Born To Die

She was weak and numb inside the Holy Grail,
She knew that her coming out was same as burying in.
It was only six months and few weeks,
She was not yet expected by the novel world.
But they didn’t let her stay in anymore.
Her body was now dragged out with ventouse,
Only a tube coupled with the holy lady.
She did not cry.
Her bareness made her feel wintry,
She was then cleaned and wrapped by a single sheet of cloth.
She slept a nightmare.
The next movement she saw a pompous face full of tears,
Alongside the lady was a man standing,
Giving her his finger to hold.
She felt an inside twinge,
But couldn’t tell a word about it.
She did not yet cry as she should,
Her lungs were immature – she never understood her inside zounds.
She was then pinned by a foamy liquid in a syringe,
Her eyes closed – she had to thole the nightmares again.
Next time she arose,
She saw the same sacred lady weeping,
There was an ambiance of grief.
She couldn’t tell what it was.
The pain was mounting every single moment.
She felt her soul been lugged out.
The time has come for the farewell,
She tried to reach her mother’s warm chest,
And wrapped herself within it,
And left her last breath in the silence of her mother’s breasts……

*This is one of my old poems... Maybe been 3 years since it was lying in my PC... Just dug it out.. So here it is on my blog posted...*

Suicidal Notes - 2 (Cult)

We the Universe’s Gate,
We the knower of the sole truth,
Passed from our ancestors,
Here we are.

They knew it then,
The Genius of those days,
The earth was limited,
And to be passed by.

2012 – The doomsday,
The deadline to move ahead,
Better move on before that,
Or end up in the earth without anywhere to lead.

Earth has done its duty,
Now we should go ahead,
Like the other aliens,
Like the UFO passing by.

Blessed we that we got belief in Him,
He will guide us with the others,
Poor them to stay so,
Doomed with this earth.

We better give up the earth now,
Then it is late,
Being in hell the least we deserve,
Explore the God’s gift.

Let us hold the hands and rot ourselves,
Anyone who disagree can greed the earth,
We greedless have surpassed those stages,
Now it Mukthi we searching for.

Next level needs us to hate our motherland,
Our flesh is equally greed worthy,
We won’t give in,
We will survive this recycling.

Together we shout for the new land,
“WE ARE THE CAPTAIN OF OUR LIFE,
WE ARE THE PATH TO THE NEXT LEVEL,
WE ARE THE SELECTED ONES!!”

Sing our last prayer,
Let them hear our role,
Sing our last prayer,
The sin would be answered!!

And thus the hundred left the body,
Seeking for next level,
And the earth continued its stay,
For it had time to get still polluted.

Suicidal Notes - 1 (Copycat)

I read those lines again,

Another glance and I had them all in my head,

Couldn’t believe how much it connected,

Connected to each and every single moment and thought of my life.

Feels like I am finally understood,

The book said it all,

It was meant for me, only for me maybe,

A man of so many complications, a person misunderstood.

It was the only book that went out of this world,

Showing the truth, The Raw truth.

I agreed to each one of them,

As if disagreeing would prove me and my existence wrong.

But was surprised of the ending,

A suicidal it was,

He should have fought this life,

Aint life worth a fight now!

He was wrong here,

He should have thought about others,

But who are the others anyway now.

Was he right?

The author sure was depressed,

Suicide is for the losers,

I rather fight my life,

Then conclude it.

Well the author has seen the world,

He has told all the truth,

Every word enlightens me more,

Does it?

Suicide would never be a solution to anything,

But living has never given anything but solitude,

Misunderstood by everyone,

Negative the life always have been.

He might be right about it then,

But I am sufficiently coward for this,

Would rather live it like this,

A living worth a coward’s life.

It is so confusing now,

Should I live it this way?

Can I change from this?

Naaa…

Maybe I don’t see people like me because they end up this way,

They knew it from the start,

I was dumb maybe to carry it forward,

Have always been anyways!

Now that I know it,

Whats my options,

Should I embrace what he says?

He made total sense to me.

Henceforth no one has to tolerate me,

Did they?

Now after this no one can prove me wrong,

Can they?

Anyway I think I got enough pills to blast myself,

Yup enough they seem,

One down, two down, three down,

Damn slow, ten down at a shot.

Now would it just put me to sleep?

Would it allow me another world?

A fairy should guide me…

I...

Fate to Blame...

If anyone had asked him what kind of life he wants to live,
He would have replied “Perhaps a dog’s life...”
And then he would justify the beauty that he could only see,
The freedom on them he felt,
A purposeless, duty less life he craved.
As a kid, he would sit with them and wander his mind around,
Enjoying the earth He created,
He felt it was to be enjoyed not worked on.

Poor those who wondered the purpose to exist,
To feel responsibilities are all you get to come down here,
Its education, work and die is what meant to be born,
Ah, Poor those.

God never sold the earth to human,
It was rented to enjoy, not settle,
Enjoy and be done was what he wanted.

Now he can’t do anything about it,
He was cursed a human.
Well if anyone would have asked what he would want to become in life,
He would say “Perhaps a Hitchhiker… I guess.”
And again he would have given a justification pretty similar,
Be gone the humans, I want to live it the way I want,
Roam the Rome, Kiss the French,
Mystify the Egypt, Purify the India,The list went on…

But if anyone would have asked him what is he doing,
He would say “CEO of a IT company..”
Then he would never justify why he ended so,
Maybe he wasn’t serious about the previous ones,
Or he was just another human to have ended up in a predefined way,
He would blame the society which bore him with responsibilities,
The fates have taken away another choice, He felt..
But would he have been happy with the first choice himself?

2009's Say

I was born 6 millenniums back,

Maybe from a small spark or of a falling star,

I was too young then to know that,

I am one of the human now,

Born in every land sooner or later,

Died in many too,

Too many names, too much fame,

For I worked the first six days, haven’t I?

Later I created my creators,

I offered the floods, the rain, the love,

The quakes, the light, the fruit.

I am the Vedas,

I am the knowledge,

The prince, the pauper, the sage,

The beast, the kid, the warrior.

The sole acceptor of every sacrifice you make,

The victor of all the epics,

That’s me, Ha.

By 2000 B.C,

I was spread world around,

Different tongues praised me,

Different tongues questioned me,

And then it came, the A.Ds,

They crucified me, and then resurrected me.

I was the good in them,

The fear, the obedience, the order,

The faith, the relief, the compassionate.

Then the years passed by,

They discovered my creation,

Explored it, utilized them,

Exhausted few,

And few concluded my non-existence,

For they saw it all nature’s gift and not mine,

That’s ok for I created this nature.

Its 2009 now,

And they now question the nature,

Its resistance, its will to still nurture,

They add their own unreal elements,

And they enjoy its essence and presence,

Maybe they don’t need the nature after all,

Just like they don’t need me.

Ha, now it’s me and nature,

Who will be wiped together.

Wiped by my creator and their own.

Lover Eye

She stared back,
She stared me equally tensed,
No smile, No frown.
Not knowing what to do?
Am i alive or dead?
She wanted to figure her existence in my stare,
She was there on the audience,
And me the clown of the show trying to fit the case,
The innocence was too much to miss.

Every smile in my face answers all the truth she ever wanted to know,
But this evening was different.
Was she herself?
Did she know that only I can see her and no one else.
Does she realise only her presence can be felt but not seen by the rest,
But she was all my eyes lies.

Bringing back the sweet memories of the old past,
The same passion,
The same kindness.
A past I wished to wash off,
A past that remembered when an emotional apocalypse creates repression in my brains,
I tried to save my fumbling,
But as always end up ruining my character,
Then to distract I shouted loud my verse,
"O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power
Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle, hour........"

Naah it couldn’t catch the right pitch,
Nor the feel it should have,
Disappointments,
Distressed,
Again I promised that this was my last attempt to stage.
My passion was her sacrifice.

My mind flew back to the days of her life,
Memory of her presence,
Her love for my act,
Inspiration it all was.
The memory of her act,
The tragedy it all was.
Little I know the anger would kill the angel,
My life was cursed since then.

Now that my work was over,
I can't quit the stage,
And thought “No matter what, the show must go on ",
And then went straight to my beloved fiancée.

But it rained....

There she was standing in the crowd,
Withholding the deadness she felt.
She was the doll of the show,
Modeling herself the whole day.

All the rituals were the extra burden,
Flowers blossomed in her head,
Beautifying the unreal self.
Again and again and again!!

Dazed about her feeling,
Was she happy for the cross over,
Or would she regret this day for rest of her life.
Was it even her choice to start with?

But for now she had to smile,
And flash at the cameras spotting on her.
Aaahhh, the world sure is easy for pretence,
For them this day is the typical happy ever after.

She stood there with her supposed love,
Accepting the appreciations and wishes.
She was so tired,
Her body is already aching now.

And still they expected a lot from her,
Poor she, trying to show her unfound strength,
Wishing the finale of this episode,
She stayed on and on...

Dance, Music, Foods,
All set there to enjoy,
But did she?
She hardly will remember.

Atlast she was done with the stage,
Now she can enjoy her food,
But naaah, she has to pose a little now,
A little blush and smile was taken debt on.

Then later she is was spared,
She took her plate and sat with her dad,
He was munching his last bite,
Lost in the thoughts.

She said nothing,
Just enjoying the presumed company.
She was fiddling the food with the knifes and forks.
Silence was savored.

But not for long,
Slowly they talked about the day,
The regulars, the usuals,
Nothing changed.

But till when?
She wont be talking the regular like this again,
She wished she wont have to break down now,
She fills her mouth with food.

After the dinner,
She just couldnt stop it,
She cried herself,
Taking the shoulder of anyone around.

Would she miss dumb talks,
The argues she used to have with mom?
The unappreciated care,
Would she..??

Sounds so dumb to leave the relied for the unknown,
Why should her life change so abruptly??
Another few days would have been better,
She had a lot to talk, talk to them.

But it rained then,
It just had to, for He too blessed her,
They poured together,
And both knew it would end as time passed.....